How do UGA students
make consent sexy?
"I make consent sexy by having a conversation with my partner about our sex life. This includes talking about: what I do and do not feel comfortable doing, any health concerns we might have, using protection, and the importance of being honest with one another. Communication is the key!"
"Talking about it before it happens."
"Always respect what people want -- and start doing this by first making sure everyone's wants are out in the open!"
"By waiting for him to get that special look in his eye and ask me first."
"Communicating with your sexual partner, which shows them that you respect them and that you're being honest and open."
"Mutual respect, honor, appreciation, intimacy, foreplay, understanding, communication, dialogue"
Consent Is Sexy
What is consent?
- Consent is a voluntary, sober, imaginative, enthusiastic, creative, wanted, informed, mutual, honest, and verbal agreement
- Consent is an active agreement: Consent cannot be coerced
- Consent is a process, which must be asked for every step of the way; if you want to move to the next level of sexual intimacy, just ask
- Consent is never implied and cannot be assumed, even in the context of a relationship. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you have permission to have sex with your partner
- A person who is intoxicated cannot legally give consent. If you're too drunk to make decisions and communicate with your partner, you're too drunk to consent
- The absence of a "no" doesn't mean "yes"
- Both people should be involved in the decision to have sex
- Consent is an important part of healthy sexuality
- It is not sexy to have sex without consent!!
What is sexy?
- Challenging myths about sex and consent, such as the stud vs. slut stereotype
- Communicating with your partner about sex
- To know and be able to communicate the type of sexual relationship you want
- Knowing how to protect yourself and your partner against pregnancy and STIs
- Acknowledging that you and your partner(s) have sexual needs and desires: Yes, it is okay for women and men to both want and enjoy sex
- Knowing your personal beliefs and values and respecting your partner's personal beliefs and values
- Confidence and self-esteem
- Challenges stereotypes that rape is a women's issue
- Challenging sexism
"Never assume. Ask before you proceed. A good lover is a good listener. A bad listener is at best a bad lover and at worst a rapist." 1
Why is consent sexy?
- Communication, respect, and honesty make sex and relationships better
- Asking for and obtaining consent shows that you have respect for both yourself and your partner
- Positive views on sex and sexuality are empowering
- Questions traditional views about gender and sexuality
- Eliminates the entitlement that one partner feels over the other. Neither your body nor your sexuality belongs to someone else
- It is normal and healthy for women to expect to be included in the consent process
- What do you think makes consent sexy?
How can you make consent sexy?
Show your partner that you respect her/him enough to ask about her/his sexual needs and desires. If you are not accustomed to communicating with your partner about sex and sexual activity the first few times may feel awkward. But, practice makes perfect. Be creative and spontaneous. Don't give up. The more times you have these conversations with your partner, the more comfortable you will become communicating about sex and sexual activity. Your partner may also find the situation awkward at first, but over time you will both be more secure in yourselves and your relationship.
How can you get more information?
Tara Misra, Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention Coordinator, Health Promotion Department, firstname.lastname@example.org, 706-542-8690
1. Yisrael, D.S. (2005, June). Wimps, studs, virgins, and bad girls: How gender roles affect sexual health and everything else. Session conducted at the annual meeting of the American College Health Association, San Diego, CA.